It's a Dog Tag Wife Life

The musings of a non-conventional, soon-to-be Army Wife

A New Day, a New Check Mark September 3, 2010

Filed under: Marriage,Wedding — It's a Dog Tag Wife Life @ 7:54 pm
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Ok, I am in the midst of wedding planning.  I have heard from people how fun it is, how stressful it is, what a pain it is, and how it’s the most exciting time of their life.  I agree with all of these, but just a little bit.  It’s part fun, part stress, part pain in the ass, part exciting.

I have found some things that I really like about it, like putting on pretty dresses and prancing around like a princess (ok, I didn’t really prance, but when I found “the dress” I wanted to).  The stressful part is watching my budget.  I’m usually very good about budgeting, but for some reason, I keep finding myself saying, oh crap, I can’t have that, what can I do to replace it?  The pain in the ass is the vendors not returning calls or e-mails.  I finally decided on a photographer and he hasn’t responded to me for the last two days!  Not that I expect him to respond immediately, but I just agreed to pay you A LOT of money, please let me know what I need to do next.

But then the thing I remind myself of, day and night, is the excitement.  I’m excited to marry the hunny.   Let me put this in a slightly more dramatic way.  I’m not excited about the food, or the dress, or the flowers, or being surrounded by our friends and family dancing and drinking the night away.  Technically, I am excited about that, but marrying him is what I’m most excited about.  I’ve had a couple “wedding dreams”.  My dress didn’t show up.  The flowers are wrong.  The cake fell over.  None of my bridesmaids showed up.  I have an odd ability to control my dreams a little bit, and at the end of them, I always say, “Well, I’m still marrying him, aren’t I?” and the dream ends with me walking down the aisle in jeans and a white button up shirt or eating Snickers instead of cake.

And that’s what I remind myself of in my daily life.  Marrying him is what’s important.  And not marrying the Army.  I understand what I’m marrying into, but that’s not why I love him.  It’s part of him, yes, but so is his love of racecars, camping, and beer.  Just like his profession doesn’t define him, this one thing doesn’t define why I love him.  I’ve heard of girls looking for a guy in uniform, simply because that’s the type of person they wanted to marry.  Silly if you ask me, I used to think that I didn’t want to marry someone in the military, and here I am, months away from becoming an soldier’s wife.

But day by day, I have new check marks that are showing up in my wedding planner.  I have to remind myself that the biggest check mark that day is marrying him.  If that happens, the day was a success.  Even more so if my cake and dress show up and I finally get to do my princess prance.


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