All you MilSpouses out there, I have a very serious question for you. Do you ever feel like people look at you like you’re a victim of an abusive relationship when you tell someone that your husband is in the Military?
I do, and it’s very disheartening. When I tell someone about the hunny being deployed, or the next deployment, or the last deployment, they give me this look like “Oh, I’m so sorry. That’s terrible.” Or they treat you different? Or stop talking about their significant other, or their children, or the things they did as a family?
Recently, and I think it’s because we’re getting married soon, I’ve heard it more and more. Instead of someone saying, “Oh, you’re so brave to do what you do.” or “Well, you can’t help who you fall in love with.” or “Wow, you must have a tough life.” I want someone to say “Wow, that’s awesome. That’s great that you’re there to support him.”
I don’t like being pitied. I CHOSE to say “Yes” when he proposed. I CHOSE to marry him. I even CHOSE to go out with him that first time, knowing full well what his job is.
- Yes, it’s a hard life.
- Yes, there are lots of sacrifices that he & I both have to make
- Yes, I hate deployments
- Yes, somedays I want to fight with his commanding officer (although, that wouldn’t be good for ANYONE)
- Yes, I would prefer if he had a normal 9-5 job
- Yes, I am unbelievably proud of what he does
- Yes, I support him unconditionally because he does what he must to protect this country we call home
- Yes, we don’t always agree because of political stuff
- Yes, somedays I want to shred his ACUs, hide his dogtags, and say the cat ate them
- Yes, I get frustrated when I have something planned but his work comes in the way
- Yes, I’ve seriously thought about going 45 mph on post because I hate going 25 mph
- Yes, I love him with all my heart and don’t want to be pitied because I do
I have a great man in my life and he treats me wonderfully. I don’t want to be considered a “victim” because I fell in love with him. I want people to think that it’s awesome that I stand beside him, no matter what, because it’s the right thing to do. I don’t regret becoming a MilSpouse and never will. I didn’t fall in love with army, I fell in love with him and I’m proud that I did.